Quem \u00e9 f\u00e3 de Legi\u00e3o Urbana sabe que Faroeste Caboclo n\u00e3o \u00e9 s\u00f3 uma m\u00fasica, \u00e9 uma verdadeira saga em forma de can\u00e7\u00e3o. Agora, imagina essa mesma hist\u00f3ria \u00e9pica traduzida para o ingl\u00eas, com direito a viol\u00e3o, sotaque gringo e aquela paix\u00e3o brasileira que s\u00f3 Gavin Roy consegue colocar em tudo o que faz. Pois \u00e9 exatamente isso que voc\u00ea vai encontrar aqui: a vers\u00e3o completa de Faroeste Caboclo em ingl\u00eas, adaptada pelo gringo brasileiro mais querido da internet \u2014 e que talvez seja o \u00fanico americano capaz de cantar essa letra quilom\u00e9trica sem perder o f\u00f4lego.<\/p>\n
No, he held nothing back, that John of Santo Cristo\u2019s<\/em> As a kid he only dreamt of being a thief<\/em> He went to church but just to steal the alms<\/em> He wanted out so he could go and see the ocean<\/em> He screwed with all the little girls of the city,<\/em> He didn\u2019t understand the way the world worked \u2013<\/em> Rolling into town he went to grab a coffee<\/em> He was sayin\u2019, \u201cI was headin\u2019 for Bras\u00edlia.<\/em> And John accepted the proposal,<\/em> “My God, but what a gorgeous city!<\/em> He\u2019d hit the red-light district every single Friday<\/em> A Peruvian who was living in Bolivia<\/em> And Santo Cristo worked himself into the ground,<\/em> But he was over all the empty talk,<\/em> Right away, all the crazies of the city<\/em> He made friends and visited the Asa Norte<\/em> The very first holdup he screwed it up<\/em> And now our Santo Cristo was a gangster in the city,<\/em> ‘Twas then our hero chanced to meet a girl,<\/em> He told Maria that he wanted to get married,<\/em> The time went by. One day a guy came to the door,<\/em> “I don\u2019t drop pipebombs in sidewalk magazine stands<\/em> And it\u2019d be better if you got the hell away<\/em> “You\u2019re a dead man, you\u2019ve just killed yourself, my friend.<\/em> It\u2019s not that Santo Cristo had it all right;<\/em> He spoke with Pablo that he wanted an accomplice<\/em> But then it happened that a guy named Jeremiah,<\/em> But Pablo carried a Winchester Twenty-Two,<\/em> Jeremiah, shameless pothead that he was,<\/em> And Santo Cristo hadn\u2019t come home in a lifetime,<\/em> Then getting home he moaned<\/em> Santo Cristo was only pure hatred inside,<\/em> And take your pick, any weapon that you want,<\/em> And Santo Cristo had no clue how to react<\/em>
\nWhat everyone would verify when from the path he strayed.<\/em>
\nHe left behind him all the boredom of the farmland<\/em>
\nJust to feel the seething hatred in his blood that Jesus made.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd even more so when a soldier shot his father in the head.<\/em>
\nHe was the terror of the prairie where he lived,<\/em>
\nAnd when he went to school the teachers were the ones that learned instead.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nCollected from all the lovely lowly little ladies in their lace.<\/em>
\nHonest to God he knew that he was something special \u2013<\/em>
\nThat godforsaken wilderness was simply not his place.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd all the other stuff that he\u2019d seen on TV.<\/em>
\nHe saved up money so he finally could get goin\u2019,<\/em>
\nAnd of his own volition said, \u201cHey, it\u2019s just me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\nPlaying doctor; he was expert by the time that he hit twelve.<\/em>
\nGot sent to juvie by the time he hit fifteen,<\/em>
\nWhere his hatred only grew the further into hell he’d delve.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nDiscrimination based on being black or white or rich or poor.<\/em>
\nHe got fed up trying to come up with the answers,<\/em>
\nAnd so he bought a one-way ticket straight to Salvador.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd he ran across a cattle driver who would say:<\/em>
\nHe\u2019d bought a ticket already and was gonna have to skip<\/em>
\nThe whole damn trip, but John saved him in a way.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThere is no finer place the country wide.<\/em>
\nBut I really need to stay to see my daughter.<\/em>
\nHow \u2018bout I hang back and you can take my ride.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd on a bus he rolled to Planalto Central.<\/em>
\nHe was crazy \u2018bout the city,<\/em>
\nAnd departing from the terminal he saw the Christmas lights and decked out halls.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nI\u2019ll start working once the new year\u2019s in full swing, ah!”<\/em>
\nHarvesting wood as a carpenter\u2019s apprentice,<\/em>
\nMade a hundred grand per month in Taguatinga.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSpending all the hard-earned money of a harder working lad.<\/em>
\nAnd he bumped shoulders with a lot of shifty rollers,<\/em>
\nIncluding a lost bastard grandson of his great granddad,<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd brought back tons of shady shit from there.<\/em>
\nHis name was Pablo, and he would declare<\/em>
\nHe\u2019d hatch a new plan to start to sell his ware.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nBut all the money somehow wasn\u2019t quite enough to even eat.<\/em>
\nBack home at seven he would hear the same old newscast<\/em>
\nAlways saying that the government would keep him on his feet.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd he decided, just like Pablo, he would make do on his own.<\/em>
\nHe then discussed the sacred details one more time,<\/em>
\nAnd remaining quite uncrucified the seeds were quickly sown.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nHeard the little piece of news: “That there’s some good dope!”<\/em>
\nAnd John of Santo Cristo soon was loaded,<\/em>
\nAnd he started down the dealers\u2019 slippery slope.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd hit up all the rock parties to unreel.<\/em>
\nBut of a sudden, under the influence<\/em>
\nOf one of his comrades in the city, he began to steal.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd for the first time headed straight to hell on the fast-track:<\/em>
\nBrutal violence and raping of his body;<\/em>
\n\u201cYou\u2019re gonna see \u2013 I\u2019m gonna get you back.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\nFeared and fearless in Distrito Federal.<\/em>
\nHe had no fear at all of any boss man, policeman,<\/em>
\nDrug-dealer, captain, playboy or highbrow.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd for all his sins committed he right there repented.<\/em>
\nMaria Lucy was a stunning little thing,<\/em>
\nAnd Santo Cristo promised his whole heart to her and meant it.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd rebegan the workin\u2019 wood he used to.<\/em>
\n“Maria Lucy, I\u2019ll love you for forever,<\/em>
\nAnd I even wanna have a kid with you.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAn older man, a one-percenter with some cash in hand,<\/em>
\nAnd he made a less than noble proposition,<\/em>
\nAnd from John wanted an answer, an answer his demand.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nNor in elementary schools \u2013 I won\u2019t do that, no!<\/em>
\nAnd I won\u2019t protect no goddamn ten-star general<\/em>
\nWho sits behind his big ol’ desk, scared shitless, bro.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd never messed with any Pisces, Scorpio ascendant!”<\/em>
\nBut before he left, the old man with a look of hatred back said,<\/em>
\n\u201cYou\u2019re a dead man, you\u2019ve just killed yourself, my friend.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\nYou\u2019re a dead man, you\u2019ve just killed yourself, my friend…<\/em>
\nThere\u2019s ten words I’ll never get out of my head!<\/em>
\nI’m gonna suffer consequences in the end…”<\/em><\/p>\n
\nHis whole future wasn\u2019t alright and he didn\u2019t work for days.<\/em>
\nHe got hammered and one day while on a bender<\/em>
\nHe found out that there was someone different working in his place.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd had money and was wanting either way to arm himself.<\/em>
\nPablo would smuggle contraband out of Bolivia<\/em>
\nAnd Santo Cristo in Planaltina’d help resell.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnother smuggler with a reputation, came on scene.<\/em>
\nIt wasn\u2019t long \u2018til Santo Cristo\u2019s plans he knew,<\/em>
\nAnd he decided that this John needed to be blasted clean.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd Santo Cristo had already learned to shoot.<\/em>
\nBut he decided that he\u2019d use it only after<\/em>
\nJeremiah was the first to make a move.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nArranged the rager and made sure that everyone knew how to play.<\/em>
\nHe assaulted the innocent young girls<\/em>
\nAnd claimed to be a true believer, but he hadn’t learned to pray.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd the longing started getting to his head.<\/em>
\n“I\u2019m outta here, Imma see Maria Lucy.<\/em>
\nI think it\u2019s high time that the two of us were wed.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAnd for the second time he got a taste of hell straight from the devil\u2019s cup:<\/em>
\nTo Maria Lucy Jeremiah\u2019d gotten married,<\/em>
\nAnd he already had knocked her up.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSo he challenged Jeremiah to a duel.<\/em>
\n“Two o\u2019clock PM tomorrow in Ceil\u00e2ndia,<\/em>
\nRight in front of Lot Fourteen, that\u2019s where I\u2019ll be, fool!<\/em><\/p>\n
\n\u2018Cuz either way I\u2019ll blow your brains out you bastard double-crosser.<\/em>
\nI\u2019ll also be killing that dumb bitch Maria Lucy,<\/em>
\nWho I loved right up \u2018til I lost her.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\nWhen he saw the cable TV network crews<\/em>
\nAnd the reporters live-reporting on the duel<\/em>
\nGiving the time, the place, the reason on the news.<\/em><\/p>\n